The Conventional Way

Ever since I knew the truth, it was tough to accept it. It was useless to pursue something, which won't belong to me. A sensible thing to do is forget about it and proceed on with my own life. My priority is to develop a career that I can be proud of. My busy work schedule had kicked in at the right moment. I had to immerse myself into overtime work to clear numerous audit queries. In the course of it, the audit manager whom reviewed my work had praises for my efforts. My mind didnt accomodate any unnecessary things, other than work matters. I express my gratitude to my family, friends and colleagues, who stood by me. Someone special to me also showed concern for me. She is going through a bad patch too. I was afraid that she would break down one day. I offered her any help if she requires it, but she is still fine.

As for Jo, I realised that she had found her new love. I wished her the best in her new venture. There was only one issue left hanging, which I am clueless about. Even if I do clarify, it wont be of much significance. A new lease of life awaits me.

The Truth Surfaced

Yesterday, I met her for later part of the day. She was well dressed, a different sweet personality which I havent seen before. Accompanied her to have her hair done up. I dozed off while waiting. When it was done, she woke me up with a big hit on my lap. In my sight was the ravishing hair highlighting, which suits her well. It's a pity that her profession didnt permit her to try out more extreme colours.

I asked her to watch a movie together at Plaza Sing. Unfortunately, it was not screening at both PS and the Cathay. Instead, we settled for dinner at a restaurant located in the basement on the Cathay. Simple and filling for both, plus a 10% discount. Followed by window shopping at Robinson and Takashimaya.

For the first time, I asked if she would like to drink some beer. We seeked out a place at China Square, recommended by her. Ordered a jug of beer to be shared with her. Perhaps, the drinking made us bolder and we shared our feelings. I popped the question if she developed any feelings for me ever since I stated my intent to court her. She shook her head sideways, and wished for us to remain as good friends. Uncontrollable tears wetted my eyes, as my slimmest hope was smashed. The reply wasnt surprising, but my heart couldnt cope with that sudden blow at that moment. I heard her story as well and shared her sorrows. I had more beer to drown my sorrows. In the end, I did see her home as usual despite my semi-conscious self. I was home drunk, with only my mind still clear about the happenings.

A song to ponder

在一个落叶风零的秋天
遇到我一生中最爱的人
从此以后她的样子把我整颗心灌醉
让我爱的那么汹涌那么真
多么希望她能给我一点真爱
多么希望她会过的快乐
多么希望我能给她一点点感动
可是老天却把感情捉弄
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有错吗
虽然爱一个人很苦
可我还渴望一点爱
我怎么了哭了吗
竟然爱她爱到那么施舍
痛的最后哭了以后也快乐

多么希望她能给我一点真爱
多么希望她会过的快乐
多么希望我能给她一点点感动
可是老天却把感情捉弄
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有错吗
虽然爱一个人很苦
可我还渴望一点爱
我怎么了哭了吗
竟然爱她爱到那么施舍
痛的最后哭了以后也快乐
我不想爱她
却是更加思念她
欠我的怀抱何时能还吗
欠我的怀抱何时能还吗
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有罪吗
或多或少给点安慰
哪怕慈悲的怀抱
算了吧忘了吧
陷的越深越无法自拔
宁愿自己守着伤悲
也快乐

L...O...S...T

How does a person feels when his feelings for someone is growing stronger day by day? When he eats, sleeps or does anything, he will think of her. Is it an indication of love to come? Will it make a difference if one is making an effort to make his dream come true? To make things work, it still takes two hands to clap. There might be a possibility that the eventual truth hurts.

Lost is a suitable word to describe my current feelings. There is a strong desire to win her heart one day. To develop a high level of trust between us, as both of us have more friends of the opposite sex. Hence, jealousy is inevitable but still manageable if we work things out. I enjoy every meeting with her and listening to everything about her life. I reciprocated with sharing my life experiences too.

How I wish I have the ability to foresee the future. Within my limits, I only plan for the future. Will I see light at the end of the tunnel?

3..2..1.. It's 2007

Based on past trends, the countdown to a new year is usually alone at home. This year, I never expect things to be different. She was finishing work around 9.45 pm last night. I waited for her at the usual pick up point. She agreed to go for satay at Lau Pa Sat, as I was craving for it. Heaven played a trick on us. Just when we started to eat, the rain starts to pour. We had to bring our food to seek for shelter inside the food court.

We took a stroll around Raffles place to get our food digested properly. There was a huge traffic jam along North Bridge Road, as we made our way to Esplanade. Everyone was in high spirits, in anticipation of the fireworks to welcome the new year. We sat on the pavement looking at the sky above Clifford Pier. As the clock struck 12 midnight, the clear sky was covered with fanciful fireworks, accompanied by loud cheers from the crowd. I felt that it was special to see fireworks with her beside me. Even though the dust from the fireworks had cleared, that moment with her will not be cleared from my memories.