The Conventional Way

Ever since I knew the truth, it was tough to accept it. It was useless to pursue something, which won't belong to me. A sensible thing to do is forget about it and proceed on with my own life. My priority is to develop a career that I can be proud of. My busy work schedule had kicked in at the right moment. I had to immerse myself into overtime work to clear numerous audit queries. In the course of it, the audit manager whom reviewed my work had praises for my efforts. My mind didnt accomodate any unnecessary things, other than work matters. I express my gratitude to my family, friends and colleagues, who stood by me. Someone special to me also showed concern for me. She is going through a bad patch too. I was afraid that she would break down one day. I offered her any help if she requires it, but she is still fine.

As for Jo, I realised that she had found her new love. I wished her the best in her new venture. There was only one issue left hanging, which I am clueless about. Even if I do clarify, it wont be of much significance. A new lease of life awaits me.

The Truth Surfaced

Yesterday, I met her for later part of the day. She was well dressed, a different sweet personality which I havent seen before. Accompanied her to have her hair done up. I dozed off while waiting. When it was done, she woke me up with a big hit on my lap. In my sight was the ravishing hair highlighting, which suits her well. It's a pity that her profession didnt permit her to try out more extreme colours.

I asked her to watch a movie together at Plaza Sing. Unfortunately, it was not screening at both PS and the Cathay. Instead, we settled for dinner at a restaurant located in the basement on the Cathay. Simple and filling for both, plus a 10% discount. Followed by window shopping at Robinson and Takashimaya.

For the first time, I asked if she would like to drink some beer. We seeked out a place at China Square, recommended by her. Ordered a jug of beer to be shared with her. Perhaps, the drinking made us bolder and we shared our feelings. I popped the question if she developed any feelings for me ever since I stated my intent to court her. She shook her head sideways, and wished for us to remain as good friends. Uncontrollable tears wetted my eyes, as my slimmest hope was smashed. The reply wasnt surprising, but my heart couldnt cope with that sudden blow at that moment. I heard her story as well and shared her sorrows. I had more beer to drown my sorrows. In the end, I did see her home as usual despite my semi-conscious self. I was home drunk, with only my mind still clear about the happenings.

A song to ponder

在一个落叶风零的秋天
遇到我一生中最爱的人
从此以后她的样子把我整颗心灌醉
让我爱的那么汹涌那么真
多么希望她能给我一点真爱
多么希望她会过的快乐
多么希望我能给她一点点感动
可是老天却把感情捉弄
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有错吗
虽然爱一个人很苦
可我还渴望一点爱
我怎么了哭了吗
竟然爱她爱到那么施舍
痛的最后哭了以后也快乐

多么希望她能给我一点真爱
多么希望她会过的快乐
多么希望我能给她一点点感动
可是老天却把感情捉弄
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有错吗
虽然爱一个人很苦
可我还渴望一点爱
我怎么了哭了吗
竟然爱她爱到那么施舍
痛的最后哭了以后也快乐
我不想爱她
却是更加思念她
欠我的怀抱何时能还吗
欠我的怀抱何时能还吗
究竟我是怎么了怎么了
难道爱一个人真的有罪吗
或多或少给点安慰
哪怕慈悲的怀抱
算了吧忘了吧
陷的越深越无法自拔
宁愿自己守着伤悲
也快乐

L...O...S...T

How does a person feels when his feelings for someone is growing stronger day by day? When he eats, sleeps or does anything, he will think of her. Is it an indication of love to come? Will it make a difference if one is making an effort to make his dream come true? To make things work, it still takes two hands to clap. There might be a possibility that the eventual truth hurts.

Lost is a suitable word to describe my current feelings. There is a strong desire to win her heart one day. To develop a high level of trust between us, as both of us have more friends of the opposite sex. Hence, jealousy is inevitable but still manageable if we work things out. I enjoy every meeting with her and listening to everything about her life. I reciprocated with sharing my life experiences too.

How I wish I have the ability to foresee the future. Within my limits, I only plan for the future. Will I see light at the end of the tunnel?

3..2..1.. It's 2007

Based on past trends, the countdown to a new year is usually alone at home. This year, I never expect things to be different. She was finishing work around 9.45 pm last night. I waited for her at the usual pick up point. She agreed to go for satay at Lau Pa Sat, as I was craving for it. Heaven played a trick on us. Just when we started to eat, the rain starts to pour. We had to bring our food to seek for shelter inside the food court.

We took a stroll around Raffles place to get our food digested properly. There was a huge traffic jam along North Bridge Road, as we made our way to Esplanade. Everyone was in high spirits, in anticipation of the fireworks to welcome the new year. We sat on the pavement looking at the sky above Clifford Pier. As the clock struck 12 midnight, the clear sky was covered with fanciful fireworks, accompanied by loud cheers from the crowd. I felt that it was special to see fireworks with her beside me. Even though the dust from the fireworks had cleared, that moment with her will not be cleared from my memories.

The Answer Is Revealed

Everyone's guessing of the contents of the black box is over. Lol. Wendy had a nice try. There is still 3 empty slots to fill. Adding to my collection slowly. Ultimately, I would like to possess a Tag Heuer. It's a dream, which is attainable. It is ironic that the giver of the box would need it more than me. Nonetheless, it was a perfect gift for me for my purpose.

"Gifts Galore"

All the gifts I received have been pictured. There is a black box hidden. Any guess what is inside? Hee. I like that gift very much. It was given by someone special to me, whom paid attention to what I was looking for. I never expected it. Met Jo last night and she amazed me. This Xmas is sweeter than never before.

"Give n Share" Mood

One last day of work before 3 rest days. I reached office earlier than usual, carrying a bag full of gifts. No one was around, while I went to distribute the gifts on colleagues' desks. My miscalculation resulted in a shortage of gifts. I prayed hard that no surprise gifts from anyone else.

Festive celebrations at lunch time. Everyone gathered in the Journey room for a food feast. Lots of great food, sparkling juices and lots of jokes to bring everyone's working mood down to zero. Lol. Our internship student was the organising chair person. Many thanks to her for planning the things, as everyone was busy with our own work.

By end of the day, I had a bag filled with gifts from colleagues to bring back. Too excited to see what is inside the wrappers, but still have to wait till I reach home. I never enjoyed Xmas before and hopefully this will serve as a precedent in future.

A Birthday Wish

In 2 hours time, it will be my pal's birthday. Hope you have a memorable one, which I did 3 months ago. The year is ending soon, but the fun will not cease.

Xmas Anxiety

The backlog on my desk is also cleared. Next big challenge is the year end closing next week. Atmosphere at work would be quite serious, but there is a celebration at the end of the week. M has initiated a xmas celebration. Responses were spontateous with 17 participants in all. Everyone has a role to play to contribute. My task is to get titbits and drinks. Other things we planned for are ham, pizza, sushi, pork ribs, etc. Should I get small gifts for everyone to surprise them? Still sourcing for ideas though.

Rebec had finished her operation and I am trying to arrange my schedule to pay her a visit. I pray for her fast recovery. I hope to see her chubby self before xmas. How do I spend this xmas? No date to expect, but I dont wish to let it fly pass. Only once a year. Who shall I spend it with?

Will History Repeat itself?

A hectic schedule for 3 weeks has gone past. Not much entertainment, work to clear before on leave and exams was approaching. This exam sitting was a stronger test than ever before. I had 2 optional papers to clear, in which one was a retake. Leaving me no choice but to push back my graduation date. More costs to provide for plus more time consumption. If I had progressed to this stage, I should finish it at all costs. My only motivation is my parents witnessing my convocation one day. Lol.

Yesterday was the end of the entire sitting. In the midst of preparation, 6 bottles of bird nests with 1 week of intense revision would be sufficient to get me through in my opinion. At each of the exam dates, there were empty seats around me. Some had chosen to forgo their slimmest chance of securing a marginal pass. I wont even consider about giving up till I make an attempt. Overall assessment of my own performance was less than satisfactory. I concluded that there was a higher chance of passing the retake paper than the other paper. Nonetheless, there were plenty of well wishes from friends whom I appreciated alot.

Went for a stroll in West Mall before I came home last night. A relief that my study aspect has ended for this year. A big challenge in office requiring my attention next week. Year end approaching to finalise the company's full year performance, which is corelated to my bonus distribution.

Are Accountants that Bad?

The much-awaited movie "Casino Royale" has been screened. Heard many comments about the new Bond. Is he a good or bad replacement? At GV, it is the top selling movie at this moment. Only watching it myself will let me have a better accessment. I waited for Jo at the station control near her workplace, as her shift would end at 3.30pm. Both of us had lunch at PepperLunch Isetan Scotts branch. This was my 2nd time eating, after a few months since the last one I had. A funny video clip of her brother's marriage proposal was shown to me. There was a conspiracy to lead to that proposal. Lol.

Took a slow walk to Cathay Cineleisure after the meal. She was surprised to know that Cathay sells tickets at a lower price than other cinema organisations. Perhaps she gets treats mostly to justify her ignorance. Hehe. The movie was my treat, as the food was paid by her earlier. It was a lengthy movie with several exciting scenes and a sequel to look forward to. The only thing I dislike was picking an accountant to be the bad guy. Even the Bond girl, who was also an accountant, betrayed Bond near the end. I hope the sequel comes fast. A drink at KFC sums up the nice evening with her.

Rats Can Be Amusing

Attended a full day of revision class to prepare for the upcoming exams. Felt mentally exhausted after all is over. I had to settle my own dinner, as family members were not at home. Managed to asked Jo out for dinner at Marina Square. While waiting for her, I purchased a bunny specially for her. I came to know that she likes soft toys and has a huge collection.

Dinner was at Jack's Place. Steak for her and I ordered half spring chicken. She was a fast eater , but I took my own sweet time. It was the chat with her that I enjoyed, more than wat I was eating. Lol. She was playing with the bunny and hugging it. An indication that she likes it. :P

After a heavy dinner, there was some time to kill. We went for "Flushed Away" at Suntec EW. I was treated to the movie, as she suggested. We had a good laugh seeing the comedy concerning rats. Goodbye time after the show ended.

Little Thoughts Mean So Much

I had 4 hours to spare before training at 4 pm. Jo agreed to catch the movie "Material Girls" with me. It was bad to wake her early on a rest day to get prepared to meet. I reached earlier at GV PS to purchase the tickets and enjoyed a cup of nice coffee while waiting. She was confused where I would be waiting for her thru my several smses to her. If you sense me, I should be nearby. Lol.

The show was not highly rated. It's about 2 girls who lived a luxurious life, but turned poor overnight. They sensed there was a conspiracy to make them bankrupt. So, they took matters into their own hands and recovered their property in the end. After the show, my dislike for rich girls became more justified.

We had lunch at Ajisen. Both of us ordered a set meal each and shared the side dishes bundled with the set. Her taste for ramen was hot n spicy, in contrast to my light n soupy. We tried a sample of each other's ramen. I needed lots of water to contain the spice after trying hers. It was time to report to camp. She offered to accompany me to my destination, although her way home was the opposite direction.

Little Jo

I was meeting Jo for a movie this evening. We know each other for less than a month, but she felt alright to meet. I was teased that I could reject to meet if I didnt wish to. I shall not forgive myself if I miss it. Hehe. I arrived late at Marina Square GV. I smsed and called her. Cant contact her thru sms nor phone call. I thought that she might be angry and went into the theatre alone. I was lucky that she called me instead. She emerged from behind a pillar. She was waiting there all the while, but we didnt notice each other. My 1st impression was that she is the type of person who brings joy to people around her.

We went into the theatre for the show "The Prestige". It was recommended by my fren. A decent show about the intense rivalry between 2 magicians, who used to be apprentices together. While trying to out perform each other, one of them actually incorporated science into his performance. It was scary to discover that the tesla machine would create a duplicate of him each time he used it. The other magician didnt enjoy a good ending either. He sacrificed his twin brother in the process.

After the show, we thought it was late and should not be consuming too much food. As we were having some dim sum, we provided each other with some insights of our own lives. Within myself, I felt I would be meeting her soon.

Wonderful Batam Experience

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I just got home from Harbour Front Centre. As I have written, I was on an overnight trip to Batam. We had to thank Ria, my colleague for seeing to all the arrangments. Although it was only a short trip, we had sufficient good food and proper shopping. What happen in the last 24 hours?

We took a Penguin Ferry from Harbour Front, which took about an hour to reach Batam Center. The rocky ferry feeling made 2 colleagues felt nauseous, but it didnt spoilt their appetite for seafood. The GM at our Batam industrial park had chartered a driver cum van to bring us around. Our next destination was a seafood restaurant located at a kelong. Such a pity that it was too dark to see anything out in the sea. Knowing malay is helpful if anyone wish to visit Batam in future. Fortunately, Ria was around to order the food for us. There were too much food for everyone, which left me with the plate of chilly crabs to finish alone. The final bill was about 1 million rupiah, way cheaper than dining in SG. We were driven to our 4-star hotel, Island Garden Hotel, to rest for the night. Some colleagues wanted to play cards. However, they discovered I was already in dreamland before they even started. Hehe.

Early this morning, we were having a nice breakfast at the hotel restaurant. After a short rest, we went to the nearby massage parlour within walking distance. I had the Traditional Thai massage costing Rp73,000. The masseuse did a decent job making me feel revitalised and got my tip of Rp50,000. It was her lucky day. Following that, we were brought to 3 shopping centres consecutively to make our purchases. My best buy was a jersey. As recommended by VP, I paid Rp45,000 for a facial plus mask. Time flew by and we are on the way back to SG via the same ferry service.

From W to K, but still 800i

To put the unhappy things behind me, I chose to pamper myself with a mobile switch. Had been waiting for this contract renewal date. The last mobile switch was 5 months back, through a cash plus trade in deal. I was holding on to SE w800i, which I thought was suitable for my MP3 needs. Now, I realise picture quality is more important than music quality. Had 3 phone models in mind. Nokia N73, SE k800i and Samsung E900. Read through several phone reviews, to conclude on purchasing the highly rated SE k800i. Without hesitation, I headed for the mobile shop and extended the contract for 2 years. Though I couldnt bear to let go of my w800i, I had to sacrifice it to salvage $300 trade in value. The sales guy was curious why I wanted to dispose w800i. He would consider that to be one of the few models still in demand. Overall, it was a fair deal, with a 1 GB card thrown into the purchase cost.

Utterly Disappointed

I was expecting an sms from her for the time to meet. 2 days ago, she mentioned that a common fren would be joining us and the timing to be confirmed. Needless to say, one would expect everything to occur as planned. After 10 months, I let bygones be bygones. Not withholding any ill feelings nor true feelings. Just carrying a thought of becoming friends once again. Another group of friends will meeting at a cafe, but I rejected their offer to stick with hers. After a long wait, the sms still didnt come. I sent her one instead. She replied she couldnt make it. A great sense of disappointment developed inside myself. I lost my cool for that short moment. A conclusive sms was sent to her stating, "If you are not sincere, please dont waste my time. We made all prearrangements and it came down to nothing". Any hope of seeing her in person have vanished into thin air. Giving her up wasnt such a bad thing after all.

Batam Excursion

During lunchtime, my VP was mentioning about paying a visit to Batam. She used to work at our company's Batamindo Industrial Park for a few years. From her experience, it would be nice to go for an overnight stay. Tentatively, we are looking at 27 Oct. The programme plan she had in mind was:
- head for Batam directly after work on friday evening
- enjoy fresh seafood dinner (Dunno if I can take lots of seafood)
- spend the night at a good hotel
- go for cream bath n massage the next morning
- do some shopping before we head back to SG

Some of us were keen to participate, as she could serve as a guide to us. However, there was one issue on accomodation. Cat agreed to be in the same room with me, as I am the only guy around. VP asked why she wasnt afraid to be with me alone. I thought it was ridiculous. Do I look like a sex maniac? To avoid further gossip, I chose to be alone. Before we knocked off from work, she managed to get her brother to join us and share the room with me.

The Old times Remains

After looking at several brands of casual watches the past few weeks, I went to the Casio Boutique at Bugis. It was about a decade ago that I switched to other brands from my Casio watch. Now, I am back to the old times. I cant deny that their designs have changed with time. This is one of their latest designs I acquired for a decent price.