Monday, February 27, 2006

Last Date Extended

One month ago, it has been my plan to have an end to my current job. But, the circumstances have changed and I was given an option of extending. I gave it a serious thought over the weekend and decided to approach my managers about an extension. I was the first to reach the office as normal. Drafted an email to serve as a written request. I did receive an approval from the manager shortly after. My understudy was relieved about my decision. Some colleagues came to know about this and asked about my hesitation. It's just a small favour which I can do for my company. From now till 9 Mar, I would be just sitting around to see if the ladies encounter any problems. Another colleague, whose work has to be checked by me, did a silly thing. I was frustrated, but just kept it to myself. Why cant she exercise caution when doing her work? It was just a choice between a yes or no, and she could hit the wrong button. Whole day occupied with guiding people and clearing audit queries.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Crazy Mobile

Has anyone had problems with a Motorola phone before? I check that my settings are proper, but most people who called me do not get a response on my mobile. I have disappointed so many friends, who mentioned the problem started when I switched my mobile. However, I tested myself and it was ok. Perhaps, the service provider M1 has some problems recently?
Had a long day at work till 6 pm in the office. Went for a hair trimming. Reaching home, I sms her and saw her online. A no holds barr talk about how the past 2 weeks have been for both of us. She mentioned we are developing a distance between us. I was shocked. Knowing her schedule has been tight, I felt I should not bother her. I thought I had done the right thing to let her concentrate on her work. Instead, I changed her opinion about me. In the past, I bothered a girl during the course of her work and she was pissed off. So, I thought sometimes backing off is also good. Now, a different person and a different situation. Why are my actions bringing discomfort to others?

Friday, February 24, 2006

Twists of Fate

How many twists can I face this year? At the beginning of the year, I was sadden about knowing my results by end of Feb. Hence, I decided to forgo my work for my studies. I targetted my last working day as 28 Feb to catch up my studies after that day. Last week, the results were out. I did made through that paper. I felt lucky for the amount of effort, which I had put in. Yesterday, some colleagues were asking me to extend my last working day for another 2 weeks. Even the 2 new understudy were also asking me to do them a favour. 2 managers spoke to me this morning as well. Should I really helped them? I don't know. Should I turn my back on everyone, which I cant bring myself to do it? But if I really extend, there are some normal duties which I am unwilling to attend to. I am very confused. Like in the past, I always hear negative comments about others who left. By extending, will anyone appreciate it or I will still earn myself more negative comments? I spent the whole day pondering, even as I still need to coach the 2 ladies. I guessed everyone wanted me to help the ladies, but who has ever spare a thought for me????

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

2 New Understudy

This morning came another lady to join us to be my understudy. She would be entrusted with the sales admin work, which I had handled. Yesterday, one lady has joined and she will be handling my accounts work. It's tough for me to teach 2 people at one go. But, I am trying hard. Both ladies are sad, but I hope I can make them stable before I go. I have waited for a long time before they finally joined. So much time wasted due to some employment inefficiency. Ladies be assured that I will still help even after I leave the company. I was delayed for classes for some vehicle deliveries again. Joined the class at 7.30 pm, with an empty stomach. Anyway, this lesson was the last before a 2 weeks break. My buddy was there to lend me his notes for copying the earlier part of the lesson. Thanks. We were discussing about the Genting Trip, which we will be going. I hope I can refresh myself during this trip to take on new challenges for the rest of the year. He had paid upfront on my behalf, but I told him to claim using a petty cash voucher. You should know the rules, pal? Just a small joke, as I did the fund transfer to his bank account after I reached home. She started to sms me again, after a period of long lost communication. If there is just a good night message, it would be sufficient to warm each other's heart. I wish we will try to maintain contact, even when we are busy with our own work. You will be missed upon, not to worry.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

JB Plan Abandoned

Today's plan should be in JB enjoying a movie and some good food. Starting to feel if it was all fated? Whatever we planned, there would be hiccups. I knew that it was hard for her to push away her friend's appointment, so I told her to meet her friends instead. I should be able to occupy myself with things to kill time. There was a meaningful sms from her "We should be enjoying the time together if not for my friend." It was a consolation to hear this from her. Enjoy your meeting and don't be upset about this. We can always plan again if there is another opportunity. Instead, the time was spent on marketing with my mum and revising my studies. Still have a long way to catch up to current chapter. It's better to start now than never. Took a few hours nap and woke up around 7 plus at night. Listened to songs, while reading some frens' blogs. It's late but never hear from her since the last sms at 2 pm. Should I be waiting for her reply to my sms or should I proceed to my bed? Let's see which occurs first.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Surprise Surprise

Called her early morning to see if she is alright. She has been occupied recently and no phone calls for the whole week. It will be good to hear her voice for a second. Finally, she picked up the call. Her voice sounded tired. I asked her to catch more sleep. I had to clear more work, in preparation of the new colleague who will be succeeding my work. I don't wish to pressure her, although I like to. Haha. With my current duties being segregated to 2 pax, she should be in a comfortable position. Sales has started to picked up, but how many more will I be processing? They can throw as many as they wish to. The LTA system is changing on 1 Mar, which is the first day that I am no longer in office. The sales personnel thought I may have insider news to plan my exit on the day the old LTA system cease working. Nice guess but there was more to it. End of the work day at 6pm, my phone ext rang. Must be one of the sickening sales disturbing me again. Nope, wrong guess. It was her. I was speechless, since she mentioned she would be busy from noon onwards. She asked if I wanted to have dinner and I agreed wholeheartedly. Nice nice. No work tomorrow and in no rush to go home. We took a short walk to the mall near her place. Had dinner at Grillers. We would always share a portion of our own food with each other. Spent 2 hours updating each other about the past few days happenings. I didn't know she would react so strongly to a fren's comment. But, its nice to listen to her heart-felt words. Saw her back home and waited outside for her to snap some pictures using my mobile. Once I got back home, I transferred the pictures to her for her safekeeping. I hope tonight will have a sweet sweet dream, unlike last few worrying nights.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Farewell Lunch

My bosses wanted to give everyone, who have tendered resignation, a farewell lunch. Overheard one of the bosses saying that the menu must suit their taste. I was thinking if the lunch was meant for them. Nevertheless, they were still disillusioned that rehiring will be a solution to their problems. They drove us to RELC's Tang restaurant. The other colleagues were happily discussing about their plans after their departure. I didn't want to say much, as I loved my work very much. But, I was forced to hate it. I detested it. They would never understand why I left. NEVER. The bosses even mentioned I looked fresher than before. But, deep inside my heart, I am troubled. Work, studies, money, relationship and family were all my concerns. Too many things that no one can understand. I will solve them eventually, one after another.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Va~Learn~Time

It's the annual lovers' day. It has been a few years, since I last spend this day without being loved. But, my lecturer has everything planned for everyone. She didn't change the schedule to allow people to enjoy this precious day. But, for rejects like me, I don't know if I should feel grateful. Anyway, my date did have something else to occupy her. It was still a nice thought of hers to accept my date initially, but I couldn't honour it. It just clashed with my lesson by coincidence, and I asked her without knowing it in the first place. I hoped she enjoyed her own date as well. Did she like the little surprise which I have planned ahead?. My apologies for keeping her in suspense, even when I told her to expect something. Haha. My class ended much later at 10 pm, with a "Happy Valentine's Day" from the lecturer. Sounds both funny and sarcastic. The journey back home took so long. Buses were mostly packed and I reached home around 11.30 pm. Received her sms to call her, but I rejected her to let her rest early. Wondered if she had enough rest???

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Events to Ponder Over

Working for half day and a carefree afternoon to follow by. Don't know if I will be meeting her. Everything was in suspense, which left me hopeless. I could only wished for her reply soon. She did replied to indicate that she has to run some errands till about 1 pm. I waited in office for her to give me the timing to meet up. Luckily, I had the card and the small token with me. She was in a rush and I waited for her at Bugis. Went to buy some eye drops at Guardian for eye cleansing. My eyes needs frequent cleansing recently, as it becomes tired easily in office.
She arrived shortly and gave me the card with a small gift in a bag immediately. She handed over the things like she wanted to get rid of those for a long long time. Haha. I had to hand mine over as well, to make space in my backpack. Had lunch together at Swensen, but she seemed bothered by some things. I couldn't figure out the rationale, as I felt its unavoidable. We had a short walk to another area to get away from the place where she couldn't stay for another moment. Along the way, she was still rather disturbed. Her mood was totally dampened, and I had no choice but to see her home. She wanted to talk later in the night, but I told her to rest herself well first. I could wait for her to beep before i call anyway.
Reached home and opened the card which she had self made. The words written were beyond my expectations, which I could sense the emotions involved during her writing. How about her emotions when she reads about mine? I could guess, but only she can confirm my guess. The small gift was a heart shaped candle. Would it carry a meaning? I am still trying to figure out. It was around 11 pm, but she can't be contacted. Probably she went asleep without turning off her mobile. I had to catch some much needed sleep as well.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Dinner Date Cancelled

Left my house in the morning, I brought out my digital cam and the things I needed to pass to her. We had a date, planned a week ago. I had set a goal to finish my accounts before today to meet her up for a dinner. The location was Boat Quay. She wished to have the korean food there. To me, it was another new kind of food to try. The setting was nice to enjoy a dinner with someone I enjoyed her company. I hoped to let her read my card, while i should get to read hers. The feeling was worthwhile awaiting. At 10 plus in the morning, someone called my extension. It was her voice. A piece of sad news followed by good news to lessen the impact. She needed to attend her friend's birthday party, which she had missed out completely. I guessed I could make use of my time after work to rest at home, which my body badly needed. Being someone who often sacrificed myself for the benefit of others, I told her I could take care of my own time and she could just attend the party without worries. Anyway, her friend's annual birthday would certainly prioritised as compared to our meeting. She promised to arrange another time to make up for today's appointment. After work, I went back home and my parents were so surprised to see their precious son back early. Mum was pampering me with food, fruits and medicine. The medicine took its effect and caused me to sleep...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Hunt for a Card

Knocked off early today at 6.30pm to search for a valentine's day card. However, the recipient would be a different person. Went to several shops, but couldn't pick a card with the proper wordings. In the end, I picked one which had more hearts than words. Haha. I thought I should have a small token to go with the card as well. I hope she will appreciate the little thought from me. Came back and saw my brother occupying my room to play games again. Ignored his presence and sat down to write my thoughts in the card. Mum came in and took a peep. Ops Ops. She knows I am a sentimental guy all the while. I did something weird in the card, creating a heart with my name written behind it. I hope she will get the meaning, if she reads the card tomorrow. I guess she will, since she always blushes. A note to her:
Hope you will remain hopeful to be with your loved one. Let's forget our own unhappiness and have a place in our hearts for each other on this Valentine's Day.

A Long Wait plus Sorry......

I called her last night wanting to have a chat as always. Didn't know that she had just got home. She wanted to have a bath first and I agreed to wait for her. Timing was 10.15 pm. While waiting, the thought came to my mind. Earlier when she asked me if I could call, was she still outside and wished to speak to me on the way back? I thought I may have overlooked that point, and replied that I could only call later. I guessed she was alone without any company. Nice thought for her to want me to speak to her. My body has been failing me, since I fell sick last week. As I waited, I DOZED off.

What can I say? I am SORRY for causing you to wait 2 long hours for my return call. In the end, I got your good night sms immediately after I sent u an sms at 1.10am. You must be fuming with your indication of "2 long hours". I hope to call tomorrow night to hear about your matters, if you still wish to speak to me. Meanwhile, please don't lose faith in your friend for letting all these things happened. To prevent this from happening in future, please do ring my mobile if you do encounter a wait of > 10 mins without any reply from either sms or call. I am more than happy to pick up your call, even if I am sleeping. Sleep tight and hope I appear in your dreams.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Am I wrong??

The time was 8.15pm. R was finalising my final accounts before submission to management for review. The secretary, S, was busy drafting her letters. I had slight migraine, due to work stress and long hours of computing work. The conversation started...
R said, "Lets make a move at 8.45pm".
S said, "I still have some letters to finish, most probably 9pm".
R's reply is, "Ok, I shall wait for you till 9 pm and leave together".
Time passed swiftly.....
At 9 pm, R was packing up his stuff and ready to leave the office. R said, "It is 9 already. Time to go back". S still had unfinished work, but she started to pack her things in a rough manner. R thought why she had to react that way? Didn't R followed her timing to leave or it wasn't good enough for her? Either way, both left the office and silence followed them along the way home.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Will it become true??

Having cold sweat after I awaken. Both of us were walking, and my ex approached us. She mentioned that she would resort to any means to ensure that we won't be together. Why would she still want to hinder my life? I have highlighted before that if we broke up one day, I would never turn back to the relationship anymore. On the other hand, did it mean that I won't have a future with this girl? I sincerely hope the latter was not true. Had to return to sleep for my classes in the morning.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

First House Visit

The main programme for today was to pay a visit to paul's house at 1.30pm. It was saddening to say that it was my first visit to his house for as long as we knew each other. In the early hours, I was expecting a guest coming to my place as well. Afraid that she could be lost along the way, I offered to pick her up at the nearest location she suggested. Since I am in possession of my bro's car for the whole day, I should put it to good use. She hit it off quite well with my parents, though it was the first visit. My parents' impression of her was rather ok, as my mum has made some food for her tasting. I guessed my mum was wanting to hear some good comments for her own skills again. While I was online, I read about Darl's injury from a hamster's bite. Felt so sad that even a hamster can do harm to her. Everything should like her instead. Please disinfect and heal the wound properly ok?

At 1pm, I saw my guest off and went to pick both Darl and Krys along the way to Paul's place. I tink Darl would make a good street directory guide. Haha. We didn't get lost on our 1st visit. We were the first to reach and everyone was hungry for lunch. Cant wait any longer and we helped ourselves to the food. Thank you to Paul and family for being very kind hosts. I couldn't resist the chicken from KFC and had some despite my sickness. Everyone was teasting me about how auntie was paying special attention to me the whole time. I guessed Paul must have mentioned many of my things to her, which explained why she cared for me. At 5.45pm, we had to make a move, as I offered to give Krys a ride to Westmall for her appointment. After which, I went to the hilltop at Jurong Bird Park to relax my mind while standing in the strong winds. Darl was busy snapping pictures with the nice scenery. Afterwhich, I had to drop her off at Clementi and went home directly. Came back and took the medicine prescribed to me, which made me drowsy. I mentioned about my ex being replaced in my heart by someone else. I just wanted to voice out things to someone close. While awaitng for the beep, the cough medicine has disabled my body and I dozed off for a while.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Down Finally

Today has its significance, of which I reported sick during work for the first time in 3 years. I had dragged myself to work for half a day, but I told myself that I should visit the doctor to seek treatment. Serious running nose, frequent sneezes as well. I could sense other colleagues avoiding me to escape infection. I walked in my M's room and highlighted of my intention to visit the doc at noontime. I can see in her eyes that she knew I had overworked and health was deteriorating. She had witnessed my work since I joined and always used me as an example to other colleagues. But, I did let her know that everyone's reality will not be like my situation. I was still worried about my fren being troubled last night. Gave her a call to find out if she was ok. A big relief that she had not intend to avoid me permanently. Got some pointers from her to take note if such a situation ever arise again. During lunchtime, I visited the clinic at Dawson Place. The doctor was using the stethoscope all over my upper body. I wondered if I am so serious ill. Haha. The results were lungs, heart and pulse were all ok. Then what I got was some medicine and half day to rest myself well. Headed home after purchasing 2 pieces of bread for lunch. I was joking about buying the other piece for her. Hehe. Had a good nap after consuming my medicine. However, sms still flying to and fro like never before. I got back my appetite for a proper dinner and went over to my grandma's place. Grandpa was asking if I wanted to know a girl living in their block. I just replied that fate will determined who I will end up with. Picked up my brother's car, after my uncle has finished using. Goodness gracious that he topped up full tank and stil got a summon for not placing a coupon. Came back searching for my digi cam and discovered someone took it without asking. Blood pressure started to rise, but I could manage it. Called her to have a routine chat, sharing some topics to liven things up. A little thought for Valentine's day has been arranged.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

No more backups

I was relieved that my friend was back in the office. I have being backing up others' work since last thursday. Having throat inflammation and slight coughing, since I woke up. All the new year goodies were having its effect on me. I was surprised to find the letter which I submitted back on my desk, after I am back from my morning rounds. Why would it come back to me? Was it not good enough? I brought it back to my M and she clarified that she left it on my desk by mistake. It was quite embarrassing though. Back from lunch, I sms her to see if she was doing fine. My nose was starting to run as well. Metabolism was going low, and just carried on with work slowly. Hanged on till 7.30 pm to call it a day. She asked me to join her on the train, as she was going out. As it was along the way home, I met her in the first cabin. Saw her in another different outfit. Nice. She alighted at her destination, while I carried on the journey. The situation reminded me of how I used to meet ling to go back together. Time has passed rapidly without her. I grew stronger from the aftermath and hoped history will not repeat itself. I was reading about a love letter and had my own inner thoughts. I deleted all the previous emails which I wrote for my past relationship. After all, the wordings were too nice to believe and things never actually happened. I am just deceiving myself to retain them. Tears started to roll, as I listened to the song "All by Myself" by Jamie O'Neal.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

28 days Countdown

After a long rest, this was the first day of work after the lunar new year. Early morning, the managers had come in to welcome the lion dance. It has been a tradition over the years to bring good blessings. I almost got a fright when the lion approached me to give me blessings. I was concentrating too hard on my work probably. Time passes swiftly and lunch was catered for by the company. Not a bad caterer being engaged, as many enjoyed their food. Around 2 pm, there was an urgent money draft to prepare for remittance to the US. The M asked me to tag along, so that I could provide the details if there was a need to. The processing time by DBS required 30 mins and we had coffee at Anchorpoint to kill off the waiting time. Had a heart to heart talk with M, stating some things which I tink she should be aware of the recent staff turnover. I hope the company can provide better working conditions for the new staff they hired. She also shared some insights on the political scene within the dept. She knew me well enough to know why I really wished to go and offered her best wishes. Back in the office after collecting the money draft, I brought the letter to submit in. My M was glad that I had opted not to offset my remaining leave against my 1 mth period. She compromised on paying me for the unused leave, which I felt comfortable with. The company server shutting down at 7.30 pm, which explained my early arrival at home.